Thursday, September 18, 2014

LSWE

{Light skinned in the West end.}

Different.
Out of place. 
Searching. 
So many years being hated by 
My own kind but a different kind.
The darker kind. 
Treated well by the colorless side
But always a stand out. 

"You talk like a white girl" 
"You listen to white music"
"She thinks she's better"

No. 

I talk with intelligence.
I listen to what moves me.
I think of myself lower... 

For never finding a perfect fit.
21 years of never "fitting". 

Colorless still know I am not them.
But I am LIKE them. 
So I am acceptable. 

Only.. what about what I think?
Threatened. 
I will surround myself with colorless
But feel ugly in comparison.
Why?
Because I am still black
I have an Afro 
I have hips
I have prejudices 

But I have sense. 
And manners.
And I am open-minded in majority of ways. 
I have rhythm and to me that means more than just "black music" but also "white music"...
Wait.
Why can't music just be music?
I have lived with this division my 
Whole life and am still lost about it all.

Cherokee, Irish, West Indian, Canadian blood all running through my veins.

Seems exotic? Seems like a cop out to run from the fact that if I was standing in front of Sara, Dylan, etc... 
"Prettiest black girl"
"Pretty for a black girl" 

"You're just not black to me"

Then what am I?

I don't know.

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